Looking for the UpSide of Down

 When you wakeup at the bottom, having fallen all the way down, will you choose to pick yourself up when there's no longer anyone watching? I am writing this at what I hope to be the 9th and final year of me being homeless and addicted to what used to be heroin, then recently turned into fentanyl; as I have less than 48 hours until I attempt treatment which I have arranged entirely upon my own volition, not one bit of my desire to be going stems from anyone or anything else. 

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